im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
