you guys were way drunker than both of me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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