There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
