i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
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I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
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you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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