im drinking this country out of the recession.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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