Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize