Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
