so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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