Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
