and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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