i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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