grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
