Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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