being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
