CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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