I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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