it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
