I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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