Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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