Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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