I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
