She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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