Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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