Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
