I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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