Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
