so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
