Don't make out with my wife yet
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
