My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
