i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Everything about him screamed your future.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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