this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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