from now on my penis is your penis
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
pray to the hookup gods
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
