i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
