none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
