nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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