I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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