I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
