In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
please don't ironically join a cult
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