Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
