Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
