he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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