There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Found the puke drawer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
