my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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