No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
