Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize