I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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