party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize