I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
