some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
