I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
