happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize