Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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