Sorry, I don't speak sober.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
