careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
