At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
