Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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