How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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