I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize