Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
