shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
