Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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