I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
