This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
