3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
